There are a lot of reasons I could give as to why I stopped blogging a year ago. I didn't have the time. I felt pressured to come up with things to write. I didn't really have anything worthwhile to say.
In truth, the biggest reason I stopped blogging was because I generated no discussion, which was the purported reason for this blog. The way I viewed it, I was hoping to bring together a group people who would build upon my thoughts, challenge my positions, and make me and others who read this blog develop a more fully fleshed and considered faith.
Now here I am a year later. I've started blogging again, and I've told exactly nobody I know except my wife, and I've directly asked her not to tell anybody either. I know that unless somebody randomly stumbles across this, it may never get read, much less commented on. Nevertheless, I come here every couple of days, and feel a twinge of disappointment when I see no comments.
The funny thing is, as mentioned above, I actively tried to minimize the likelihood of comments, so that I could focus on committing myself to the obedience and discipline that regular posting requires. And yet I cannot get past that need for human approval and engagement. My desire to be acknowledged, appreciated, and accepted here continues to overshadow my walk with God. This is such a microcosm of my life, and I'm getting tired of it.
In truth, I want to get to a point where my relationship with God surpasses and directs all of my personal relationships. Until I do, all areas of my life are shortchanged. I fall short in sharing the gospel, for fear of rejection or offense. I hold back in being truthful in my relationships with friends and family, for fear of hurt feelings or sensibilities. I even hold back in my marriage and church life, two places where my trust in God should display most brightly and easily.
I'm not going to claim today as a turning point. All that would do would set me up for failure, probably starting right after I hit 'Publish'. But I am going to acknowledge this weakness in my life. I will continue to turn it over to God, and ask for Him to strengthen me. I've spent years trying to do it for myself, and it hasn't exactly worked out so far.
Do you recognize your weak spot when it comes to placing value over God?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Kings Speech
Tonight, for our weekly date night, my wife and I went to the movies and saw The Kings Speech. Speaking as one who has struggled with speech difficulties in my youth, and who still wrestles with a tongue and brain that often operate at different speeds, this one really hit home.
For those not familiar, the movie is about King George VI of England. He ascended to the throne in the late 1930's shortly before the advent of World War II. The thrust of the story revolved around the king working with an expert to overcome a pronounced and debilitating stutter. Colin Firth delivered an outstanding performance as King George VI. Geoffrey Rush was excellent as well, playing Lionel Logue, the therapist who worked with the king.
Beyond the technical performance of portraying a man who had stuttered his entire life, Mr Firth really gave life to the anguish and rage of a man whose thoughts were so often trapped within his own mouth. I highly encourage those of you who still appreciate quality acting, character development and story over the fx and glitter of the latest Bay/Spielberg/Lucas OCD popcorn flick, I highly recommend the film.
For those not familiar, the movie is about King George VI of England. He ascended to the throne in the late 1930's shortly before the advent of World War II. The thrust of the story revolved around the king working with an expert to overcome a pronounced and debilitating stutter. Colin Firth delivered an outstanding performance as King George VI. Geoffrey Rush was excellent as well, playing Lionel Logue, the therapist who worked with the king.
Beyond the technical performance of portraying a man who had stuttered his entire life, Mr Firth really gave life to the anguish and rage of a man whose thoughts were so often trapped within his own mouth. I highly encourage those of you who still appreciate quality acting, character development and story over the fx and glitter of the latest Bay/Spielberg/Lucas OCD popcorn flick, I highly recommend the film.
Monday, February 14, 2011
What are you Complaining About?
Got a gut check last Friday, and wanted to share what I took out of it.
Last Friday, I went to that great culinary mecca, a KFC/Taco Bell combo restaurant. Usually, I splurge on a Taco Bell $2 meal deal, but that particular Friday, I decided that I wanted to have chicken. So I ordered a 2 piece grilled chicken basket - leg and thigh, side, biscuit, drink.
When my food came out, I almost took it back. The thigh was this shriveled, undersized little mutant thing, and the drumstick was nowhere to be found. Upon further investigation, I discovered a dark little drummette hidden under the thigh. I was quite annoyed. Where are the sizeable portions to which I am accustomed? Don't they know this is Texas?!? Everything is bigger in Texas!
Not being one to complain - especially in fast food restaurants, where terrible things can happen to returned food - I took my scrawny thigh and my drummette, and I took them before the Lord in prayer. "Heavenly Father, I think you for this day, and for this beautiful weather with which you have blessed us. I ask you to bless this scrawny thigh and drummette to the ..."
WHAM! Quick kick to the gut! And then I hear it in the back of my mind...
Do you realize that you drove past more than a dozen other restaurants and fast food eateries in order to get to this location? And do you also realize that there are about thirty different menu options at just this restaurant alone? Do you understand that this is more meat than many of My children get to eat in a week? And do you have any idea how overwhelmingly skewed your viewpoint is to stick your nose up at this bounty that is ever available to you? I was flooded with the understanding of how absurd my complaints were, given the stark contrast of my minor inconvenience relative to the serious, life or death struggles faced by so many in this city, state, and world every day.
Needless to say, I felt rather foolish sitting and crying in the dining room of the KFC/Taco Bell. That quick little incomplete prayer has stuck with me since. I've been coming back to it a lot in the last few days. That thing that keeps bubbling to the surface is a question, but not the obvious question I would expect. The obvious question is "what are you going to do about it?", but I already know full well what the answer to that is supposed to be. But the question I keep struggling with is this: Why has God allowed such a disparity in assets to fester here in the first place? Why are some of us blessed with so much, and others given so little?
I believe that the answer to that is two-fold. First, there is so much more to be received from God than material blessings. There is nourishment that He provides that goes so far beyond chicken, or beef, or even bacon, as to be incomprehensible to those who have not received it. And His gifts go beyond just that - wisdom, love, mercy, compassion, understanding, forgiveness. Of the things that truly matter - His love, His mercy, and His salvation, we have all been blessed equally, if only we choose to accept it. The problem is that we miss His greatest gifts because we're all so hung up on the cheap(er) things of this earth, which we're allowed to borrow for a time.
And borrow it we do. We don't carry anything into the world with us, and we don't take anything when we depart. It is all on loan from Him during our brief stop over. In truth, we are not the owners of our things, but rather the stewards of His creation. And therein lies the second part of the answer. As the stewards of this earth, it is our God-given duty to be responsible stewards. It is up to us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, lift up the oppressed. And this is why He has lent us these resources - to complete the task that he is calling us toward.
Last Friday, I went to that great culinary mecca, a KFC/Taco Bell combo restaurant. Usually, I splurge on a Taco Bell $2 meal deal, but that particular Friday, I decided that I wanted to have chicken. So I ordered a 2 piece grilled chicken basket - leg and thigh, side, biscuit, drink.
When my food came out, I almost took it back. The thigh was this shriveled, undersized little mutant thing, and the drumstick was nowhere to be found. Upon further investigation, I discovered a dark little drummette hidden under the thigh. I was quite annoyed. Where are the sizeable portions to which I am accustomed? Don't they know this is Texas?!? Everything is bigger in Texas!
Not being one to complain - especially in fast food restaurants, where terrible things can happen to returned food - I took my scrawny thigh and my drummette, and I took them before the Lord in prayer. "Heavenly Father, I think you for this day, and for this beautiful weather with which you have blessed us. I ask you to bless this scrawny thigh and drummette to the ..."
WHAM! Quick kick to the gut! And then I hear it in the back of my mind...
Do you realize that you drove past more than a dozen other restaurants and fast food eateries in order to get to this location? And do you also realize that there are about thirty different menu options at just this restaurant alone? Do you understand that this is more meat than many of My children get to eat in a week? And do you have any idea how overwhelmingly skewed your viewpoint is to stick your nose up at this bounty that is ever available to you? I was flooded with the understanding of how absurd my complaints were, given the stark contrast of my minor inconvenience relative to the serious, life or death struggles faced by so many in this city, state, and world every day.
Needless to say, I felt rather foolish sitting and crying in the dining room of the KFC/Taco Bell. That quick little incomplete prayer has stuck with me since. I've been coming back to it a lot in the last few days. That thing that keeps bubbling to the surface is a question, but not the obvious question I would expect. The obvious question is "what are you going to do about it?", but I already know full well what the answer to that is supposed to be. But the question I keep struggling with is this: Why has God allowed such a disparity in assets to fester here in the first place? Why are some of us blessed with so much, and others given so little?
I believe that the answer to that is two-fold. First, there is so much more to be received from God than material blessings. There is nourishment that He provides that goes so far beyond chicken, or beef, or even bacon, as to be incomprehensible to those who have not received it. And His gifts go beyond just that - wisdom, love, mercy, compassion, understanding, forgiveness. Of the things that truly matter - His love, His mercy, and His salvation, we have all been blessed equally, if only we choose to accept it. The problem is that we miss His greatest gifts because we're all so hung up on the cheap(er) things of this earth, which we're allowed to borrow for a time.
And borrow it we do. We don't carry anything into the world with us, and we don't take anything when we depart. It is all on loan from Him during our brief stop over. In truth, we are not the owners of our things, but rather the stewards of His creation. And therein lies the second part of the answer. As the stewards of this earth, it is our God-given duty to be responsible stewards. It is up to us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, lift up the oppressed. And this is why He has lent us these resources - to complete the task that he is calling us toward.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The American Church Culture - 2
A week later, I come back and read my last post, and cringe at the judgementalism and negativity that just leaps off of the page - particularly near the end. I gave a little bit of consideration to deleting it, but will not try to hide and dismiss my own shortcomings like that. I am going to continue to pour myself out here, warts and all, and since I can't hide it from God, there's ultimately no point in hiding it from anybody else. So long as it is here where I can see it and grow from it, then it has value, no matter how poorly executed the post may be.
One thing that frustrates me in this is that I don't really have a more loving way of saying what I said. It really does sadden me that we have so many lavish, ostentatious shrines all over the country. Some of these buildings are worth more than many of the poorest communities of the world will know in a lifetime.
To me, it is all coming down to how we perform as stewards of God's resources during our time here on earth. We are little more than temporary visitors here. During that time, God allows us the opportunity to manage a portion of his resources. Some are given much to manage, and others are given less. These resources are not for our benefit, except in that they allow us to bring greater glory and recognition to God. There is not a thing that I have, not wealth, not property, not security, not friends, not even my own life, that I deserve, or have somehow earned. All of these things belong to God, and are here for one purpose - to glorify Him.
My concern is this - how is it glorifying to Him if I build a bigger church or bigger home, while a child in India must sleep in a garbage dump? How is my church picnic glorifying Him when thousands of children die daily from malnutrition or dehydration? How is He glorified if I hide away in my heated, comfortable, spacious, luxurious house of "worship", while so many of His children are cramped, oppressed, beaten down, hungry, thirsty, ill, unloved, unwanted, and ignored?
We have been unworthily lavished with so much more than we could ever need or deserve. How can we sit back and not share that blessing with the rest of God's beloved children?
One thing that frustrates me in this is that I don't really have a more loving way of saying what I said. It really does sadden me that we have so many lavish, ostentatious shrines all over the country. Some of these buildings are worth more than many of the poorest communities of the world will know in a lifetime.
To me, it is all coming down to how we perform as stewards of God's resources during our time here on earth. We are little more than temporary visitors here. During that time, God allows us the opportunity to manage a portion of his resources. Some are given much to manage, and others are given less. These resources are not for our benefit, except in that they allow us to bring greater glory and recognition to God. There is not a thing that I have, not wealth, not property, not security, not friends, not even my own life, that I deserve, or have somehow earned. All of these things belong to God, and are here for one purpose - to glorify Him.
My concern is this - how is it glorifying to Him if I build a bigger church or bigger home, while a child in India must sleep in a garbage dump? How is my church picnic glorifying Him when thousands of children die daily from malnutrition or dehydration? How is He glorified if I hide away in my heated, comfortable, spacious, luxurious house of "worship", while so many of His children are cramped, oppressed, beaten down, hungry, thirsty, ill, unloved, unwanted, and ignored?
We have been unworthily lavished with so much more than we could ever need or deserve. How can we sit back and not share that blessing with the rest of God's beloved children?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The American Church Culture
I am reading "Radical" by David Platt. He lays out a rather compelling argument that the American Dream is actually antithetical to the true motives and mission of the Christian church, and that we are on a very broad path towards destruction as a church body.
He starts out with a bang on p2. In the American church culture, he states, "success is defined by bigger crowds, bigger budgets, and bigger buildings." Yeah, so? All three of those things are good, right? Don't we want to bring people in to be closer to Jesus? And aren't we supposed to encourage them to give generously? And isn't the big building a natural progression of the first two?
I'll address the first with the same general point that Mr. Platt makes. Jesus was no megachurch pastor. In essence, he was the pastor to twelve men. And rather than continue to draw ever larger crowds, he knowingly made the hard statements that drove away those unwilling to follow his teachings. As a perfect example of this, see John 6:60-66. Ultimately, he focused his efforts on a small group, and in turn sent them out to expand the ministry. He did the opposite of the current church culture.
As for the bigger budgets, this is probably the biggest reason I no longer feel comfortable in a large church atmosphere. I am absolutely supportive of the generosity and faithfulness of the church body when it comes to charity and tithing. My concern lies with what happens to that money once it is given over. It is my opinion that we have gotten far, far away from what that money should be used for. In the American church, by and large, it is returned to the members of the church, in the form of new buildings, new amenities, Sunday socials, children's ministries, and other internal resources. So little of that money goes outward from our blessed American churches to help those who really need it. We are without comparison the wealthiest country in the history of the earth, and yet we hoard that wealth like misers.
It saddens me to think about how much of an impact the American church could make in the world if it wasn't so focused on lavishing gifts upon itself, and instead turned a caring eye towards Lazarus laying outside our gate.
Speaking of lavishing gifts upon itself, how many multi-million dollar churches does this country need, anyway? Seems like an awfully large misappropriation of God's resources to me.
I'm going to stop now before I get really worked up. I'm sure I'll come back to it again at some point in the future. I do encourage you to consider where the money in your church goes, and if that is truly in the best interest of expanding God's kingdom, or just your own.
He starts out with a bang on p2. In the American church culture, he states, "success is defined by bigger crowds, bigger budgets, and bigger buildings." Yeah, so? All three of those things are good, right? Don't we want to bring people in to be closer to Jesus? And aren't we supposed to encourage them to give generously? And isn't the big building a natural progression of the first two?
I'll address the first with the same general point that Mr. Platt makes. Jesus was no megachurch pastor. In essence, he was the pastor to twelve men. And rather than continue to draw ever larger crowds, he knowingly made the hard statements that drove away those unwilling to follow his teachings. As a perfect example of this, see John 6:60-66. Ultimately, he focused his efforts on a small group, and in turn sent them out to expand the ministry. He did the opposite of the current church culture.
As for the bigger budgets, this is probably the biggest reason I no longer feel comfortable in a large church atmosphere. I am absolutely supportive of the generosity and faithfulness of the church body when it comes to charity and tithing. My concern lies with what happens to that money once it is given over. It is my opinion that we have gotten far, far away from what that money should be used for. In the American church, by and large, it is returned to the members of the church, in the form of new buildings, new amenities, Sunday socials, children's ministries, and other internal resources. So little of that money goes outward from our blessed American churches to help those who really need it. We are without comparison the wealthiest country in the history of the earth, and yet we hoard that wealth like misers.
It saddens me to think about how much of an impact the American church could make in the world if it wasn't so focused on lavishing gifts upon itself, and instead turned a caring eye towards Lazarus laying outside our gate.
Speaking of lavishing gifts upon itself, how many multi-million dollar churches does this country need, anyway? Seems like an awfully large misappropriation of God's resources to me.
I'm going to stop now before I get really worked up. I'm sure I'll come back to it again at some point in the future. I do encourage you to consider where the money in your church goes, and if that is truly in the best interest of expanding God's kingdom, or just your own.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)