There are a lot of reasons I could give as to why I stopped blogging a year ago. I didn't have the time. I felt pressured to come up with things to write. I didn't really have anything worthwhile to say.
In truth, the biggest reason I stopped blogging was because I generated no discussion, which was the purported reason for this blog. The way I viewed it, I was hoping to bring together a group people who would build upon my thoughts, challenge my positions, and make me and others who read this blog develop a more fully fleshed and considered faith.
Now here I am a year later. I've started blogging again, and I've told exactly nobody I know except my wife, and I've directly asked her not to tell anybody either. I know that unless somebody randomly stumbles across this, it may never get read, much less commented on. Nevertheless, I come here every couple of days, and feel a twinge of disappointment when I see no comments.
The funny thing is, as mentioned above, I actively tried to minimize the likelihood of comments, so that I could focus on committing myself to the obedience and discipline that regular posting requires. And yet I cannot get past that need for human approval and engagement. My desire to be acknowledged, appreciated, and accepted here continues to overshadow my walk with God. This is such a microcosm of my life, and I'm getting tired of it.
In truth, I want to get to a point where my relationship with God surpasses and directs all of my personal relationships. Until I do, all areas of my life are shortchanged. I fall short in sharing the gospel, for fear of rejection or offense. I hold back in being truthful in my relationships with friends and family, for fear of hurt feelings or sensibilities. I even hold back in my marriage and church life, two places where my trust in God should display most brightly and easily.
I'm not going to claim today as a turning point. All that would do would set me up for failure, probably starting right after I hit 'Publish'. But I am going to acknowledge this weakness in my life. I will continue to turn it over to God, and ask for Him to strengthen me. I've spent years trying to do it for myself, and it hasn't exactly worked out so far.
Do you recognize your weak spot when it comes to placing value over God?
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ReplyDeletePowerful words my brother. We all struggle with being accepted in this world. It is part of the purging process of Christ in this life-he needs stuff to purge and prune you know. Vine connectedness is where the truth can be found. Stay connected. Thanks for sharing. Enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeletewe all have a longing to be accepted by man, when being accepted into God's family and telling others about His acceptance should be our only concern. I felt the same way about my blog...hence why I have not posted anything as well. But if god called you to open a blog, then being obedient to that is your first priority, even if nobody ever sees it.
ReplyDeleteI guess if we want others to read our blogs, then we need to be marketing them more. Get the word out there that you have a blog. Because what you have to say, others need to hear, and how will they hear if you don't market your blog, and be faithful to post what God is placing on your heart.
"But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?" ~ Romans 10:14